Something I hear often in my coaching sessions is clients telling me they don’t think they are good enough in so many ways. It may be articulated as “no-one will hire me because…” or “I don’t think I can achieve that because…”; but whatever that missing word is, relates back to feelings of not being enough in some way or another – not good enough, not experienced enough, not English-speaking enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough, not worth enough, not clever enough, not educated enough, not nice enough, not strong enough etc etc.
The list is literally endless and then we can add in the hidden versions of the “not enough” statement that starts as “I am too” as in “I am too loud, too extra, too much etc”. Basically, everyone is tearing themselves apart internally, trying to live up to the most unrealistic expectations they have put on themselves. Every problem you have is through not believing you are enough in some way or another. It’s not your fault, it happens subconsciously and the programming starts from the moment you are born.
I have heard it said that if you change your words, you can change your life (which seems to be attributed to a number of different authors), which is certainly true because by changing your words, you automatically change your focus. Your words define what happens to you. By taking control of the words you use in your head, and out loud, you can take control of your life, but you have to take the action.
You have to spend your whole life with yourself, so if you need encouragement and to be told that everything is going to be ok, you are going to have to put yourself first and pat yourself on the back. You are worthy of support, but it is pointless waiting for it to come from somewhere else because you won’t believe it until you believe the words from yourself, about yourself. It will not be easy, you’ve been judging yourself so harshly for so long that you buy into the lies that you are not good enough and it is a lie, a massive lie. You have achieved so much in your life and it’s time for you to give yourself credit for those achievements and talents.
You don’t have to be good at everything, you can’t be. Some of us are good at maths, some at languages, some at design, others at cooking or engineering or sports or people focused activities. Own what you are good at, celebrate it and stop berating yourself for not being good at every little thing you try.
The trouble with our brains is we forget where we started and we berate ourselves for not having got to the finish line, but we should instead give ourselves credit for all that we have overcome. Acknowledge your survival.
You are so much more than enough! I cannot stress this enough.
Proving Your Worth to Yourself
To build your self-confidence, you have got to develop new habits to help you to overcome self-doubt so that you can build enough belief in yourself to recognise how worthy you are of achieving the success you dream of. You need to do the work to develop your self-belief and confidence.
Make a list of all that you have overcome and all that you have achieved, where you showed up and where you stuck to your promises to yourself. It all begins with keeping those promises to yourself.
What is the thing that you need to do to take the next level of action? Taking action, especially those outside of your comfort zone, builds confidence.
Pick better words, pick a better reality. Become consciously aware of the words that you use and stop yourself from thinking negative thoughts about yourself by acknowledging the thought and replacing it with a positive variation. Start with “I am enough for today” and repeat tomorrow.
I am here to help if you need to work on your self-belief and confidence, I have various coaching packages to support you. Book a complimentary discovery call here.